Sober Alcoholics; The Topic

It is always difficult to explain.
Especially when the heaviness is not reflected by the facial expression.
And you always seem content, having all the answers and advice for everyone.
For you, it’s always get up and go, “you’re supposed to be stronger than this.”

And then, coping mechanisms get extreme, no one asks what’s wrong.
But you’ve been good at taking care of things, so you find ways to cover this as well.
It’s a form of an escape because you’re increasingly feel alone and neglected.
But deep down you know, if this goes unchecked, it’s a ticking time bomb.

The escape is a high, and for a second in it, you almost feel alive.
The downside is that gravity seems to exist everywhere.
And it doesn’t matter how high, everything has to eventually come down.
And once it does, reality creeps in again, and the head has to deal with it again.

Strength is determined during the absence of the high.
When the fight between trying again and giving up is at its height.
When you look around and everyone is there, but they just don’t understand.
And right there you know that only faith can keep you sane.

Photo by omar alnahi on

We all get to that state of mind at some point.
And for some of us, we get numb to even the high.
And slip into a state of feeling nothing is redeemable.
And all of that happens with a smile on one’s face.

We may not know each other’s heaviness.
But I hope we know that we’re not going through it alone.
We are all having difficulties in articulating it.
I hope and pray we soon get patient and compassinate with each other.


Check out The Unfinished Book by Sihle Bonani on Amazon:

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