Sober Alcoholics: I gave up

  • I’ve always thought I was strong,
  • I didn’t realize that things were just going my way.
  • I thought I had it figured out,
  • I didn’t realize I was tapping on already charted waters.
  • Life… yeah
  • It sometimes doesn’t matter how prepared you think you are
  • … yeah
  • You just find yourself hiding, not from anyone specific, but just anyone who might see how exposed and vulnerable you’ve become.
  • And then, the brain reminds you of every judgment you’ve passed to everyone.
  • Isn’t it time to pass it to yourself now?
  • You know it’d be easier if it was a reminder from someone else, because you’d tell em off.
  • But how do you switch off internal screaming sounds?
  • So you start lowering standards, trying to feel less, as the mind tells you that you are.
  • Letting go of the ambition, because it doesn’t seem realistic anymore.
  • But you now tell yourself it wasn’t realistic from the start anyway.
  • But you also forget that if you don’t do it, no-one else will.


The Unfinished Book by Sihle Bonani is available on

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