Sober Alcoholics: (Do not look at me… For now)

Dear World
It’s been some time since we’ve met.
I never thought things between us could change.
When we met, I was all enthusiastic and the future couldn’t look brighter.
All the fresh ideas made me believe I could conquer anything and everything.

Photo by Julia Larson on

That was when you met me, then we had to go our separate ways a little.
The world then showed it’s true colors, and my naivety got exposed.
The exposure led to knocks I hadn’t anticipated. That was when I could feel my face no longer had a smile.
And without a smile, I could feel the enthusiasm fading away.

This led to withdrawal and seclusion.
I dreaded going back to my early happier spaces.
I pushed myself only when it was absolutely necessary.
Otherwise, I’d always choose the shade to cover my nudity.

Now I have to meet you again.
I’m afraid you’ll be looking for the old me.
And I’m also scared you might have wasted your belief in me.
Which is why you find me making excuses and finding reasons for more procrastination.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on

However, I have to make the appointment.
And because you know me well, no matter how wide my smile is, you’ll always see through me.
I have been rehearsing on how I’m going to spin it, but I’m actually thinking of spilling it all bear.
I was real before, that’s why you gave me a chance, I need to be real again maybe you’ll give me another one.

Maybe if you see me again, I might find a way to rise from my short comings.
Even in the beginning I didn’t mean to impress, I just expressed how I felt.
Now my experiences have taught it ain’t always going to be easy.
My only regret was thinking nobody wanted to hear anything when summer roses had fallen.

Photo by Gelgas Airlangga on

But I’m getting the strength back now.
I’m getting ready to put my soul out.
I have never had to go through such a phase before.
That’s why you’ll find me saying “do not look at me”, for now.

You might see me, I was never ready.
But it’s okay, if I die, I die.
I’m actually thinking I’ll live.
Hello World. Again 🙂


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