Sober Alcoholics: (The Domino Effect)

My past is haunting me. I can pin point the decision leading to the empire tumbling. Now the pursuit to corrections is followed by a tremendous feeling of stagnation. Life cannot move until it’s rectified, but time passes by and I always feel I’m left behind.

And then it’s a race against time, resulting in stepping on others toes. I end up turning friends to foes, and without notice, putting fire on those bridges. The desire to become something, anything, sees a set of values being altered to fit the current situations. And when the storm calms, you find yourself wondering was there really a need for such compromise?

Now I’m walking all alone. The once sociable type, is now looking for ways to cope without showing. As I was once a self-proclaimed confident figure, I now fear the collapse of the ability to hold a grin. For if it falls, I may not have a team around to help build again. Remember, the bridges were burned.

Because I’m on my own, the burden is heavier now. I don’t have much more people to blame, I have become my next obstacle. The excuses can’t work anymore, because nothing moves until I move. Either I burn the bridges on me too and give up, or I find ways to mend everything that’s broken.

I now realise I played a part in everything that’s gone wrong, therefore it’s my responsibility to make amends. I also realised I cannot change the past, but I am still fortunate that I have an opportunity to start afresh. I am not starting from scratch now, I am starting from experience. I know I can’t do it alone, I’ll need a team. I believe we can help each other do better now. 


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