Sober Alcoholics: (Afraid of the Dark)

They say, when days are dark, friends are few. But also when it’s dark, my shadow fades too. How do I blame anyone when I can’t see anything? Maybe they’re also in the dark and they can’t see me.

Truth be told, light only touches the surface. Darkness goes deeper. When there’s light, everyone sees the smile, or the glow. Nobody really cares about the work done to get there. As for the dark, there has to be a constant question of: what’s wrong? Or how are you?

So only those who are answered correctly will get to understand my dark side. Or I can just put on a smile and say I’m fine, acting like we’re all in the light. Then I wonder why am I alone in the world. Forgetting that I only let in a few by choice.

The struggle, unfortunately, is a work of the victim. The perpetrator doesn’t know or understand it. So if I’m struggling and it’s not my fault, it’s still up to me to take a torch and shine a light on the issue. Or the dark side of my struggle will consume me, while the so called perpetrator goes on as if nothing has happened. And according to them, nothing really happened.

So when days are dark, friends are few right? When last did I pick up the phone and call my friends? What happens if they’re also suffering from their own darkness? And we’re here all singing the same tune, which could’ve stopped when we honestly answered the question: How are you?

Maybe darkness is meant for us to be alone. A reminder that it’s not always going to be rosey. At times we have to face our demons which we always avoid by the bright lights and noise when we’re out with the people. Maybe it’s just time for us to readjust and prioritize.

Or maybe we’re not really afraid of the dark. We’re just afraid of being alone.

If that’s the case, we just have to let people in.


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