Sober Alcoholics: (Gave it my all)

With both my hands, it’s like I’m holding sand.
I don’t want to let it go.
If I open my hands to hold it gently, the wind blows it over.
So I hold on tight, it bruises my skin and falls through my fingers.

I invested a lot in this, it’s falling apart.
Funny that I’m the only one seeing the downfall.
The outside world idolises my efforts.
The mirror shows me a different story.

The irony, if time could be reversed, I’d make the same decisions.
I’ve put others before me, always.
I’ve given my all, it hurts that I can’t give anymore.
Experience is teaching me to be selfish, I’m suffering because I’m rejecting the lesson.

I’m taking comfort in knowing if I had to depart, someone I don’t know might remember me.
If that happens, I’ve lived well.
I can’t accept thinking only for myself and those I “love”.
What about those who need what I have to offer?

I stop and look, I see nothing I’ve done for myself.
What do I cut off in order to make myself look better?
Nothing, I’ve been working for a bigger cause.
Maybe I’ll die trying.

Just praying someone takes over from where I’d have left off.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: