With both my hands, it’s like I’m holding sand.
I don’t want to let it go.
If I open my hands to hold it gently, the wind blows it over.
So I hold on tight, it bruises my skin and falls through my fingers.
I invested a lot in this, it’s falling apart.
Funny that I’m the only one seeing the downfall.
The outside world idolises my efforts.
The mirror shows me a different story.
The irony, if time could be reversed, I’d make the same decisions.
I’ve put others before me, always.
I’ve given my all, it hurts that I can’t give anymore.
Experience is teaching me to be selfish, I’m suffering because I’m rejecting the lesson.
I’m taking comfort in knowing if I had to depart, someone I don’t know might remember me.
If that happens, I’ve lived well.
I can’t accept thinking only for myself and those I “love”.
What about those who need what I have to offer?
I stop and look, I see nothing I’ve done for myself.
What do I cut off in order to make myself look better?
Nothing, I’ve been working for a bigger cause.
Maybe I’ll die trying.
Just praying someone takes over from where I’d have left off.
WE ARE THE GELTONNATION