For real this time, I’m serious
“That’s what you said last month”
Well now this is the last time I’m saying it
Sitting on the edge of the couch with a cup of green tea in the hand. Thinking of how many do-overs I’ve had and how many papers are full of scribbles detailing the plan of action.
The mind is a tricky place to store all these ideas. The only way to make sure the path was followed was to plant these dreams along the walls. As the picture has already been painted, there seemed to be less of a mess required to follow the guide, build the same life, replant the trees.
Emotions went from being excited when looking at these starter blocks to resentment at every sight of blocks unchecked. Trapped by the pressure of my own beautiful nightmares yet I still didn’t want a quick way out.
Stubborn as it may sound to some, the only way out is to scratch out all items on my long list of ridiculousness. Climbing over the blocks of my checklist, I imagine is me chasing my freedom.
Do or die is a term used too carelessly and I wouldn’t wanna die trying either. For me, the aim has been living the way I have wanted to live as a young kid as that is still what I see myself as. Never liked being told to grow up as I felt like all I had been doing was getting taller and more boring.
As a teenager, I was one to collect magazines every month and picture myself doing something cool that other kids would like too.
And now, when I look at my vision boards and think of what I would like to achieve I know that nothing will change. My new beginnings don’t mean seeing the world differently or acting different. My starting afresh simply means wiping off the fog in the mirror and seeing who I really am within the journey, not only in the reflections,
Remembering that the truth is paved in the way forward, and may grow outside the vision board; a grown-up kid who is the coolest version of his younger self. A young kid who has remained the same and refused to acclimatize to his surroundings. A boy from a small town with a big heart who would like to see everyone free and happy.
The words will tell you everything.