I’ve been here before. Everything I see is in ultra high definition. I had to take off my spectacles that I’ve worn for over 10 years just to make sure it’s not a trick. I could see everything clearer. I’m looking at my dart board and the darts are floating. I’m looking at my friends and I can clearly recognize them but when I try to recall where I am, I can’t remember.
I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror but I can’t identify with the image I see. I look at my hands and I’m amazed at how odd they look.
Every time I close my eyes I’m seeing shapes move but I can’t really explain how they look. I close my eyes and open them again but decide to keep them open with the fear of missing out on the live visuals.
While all this is happening I’m getting these waves of overwhelming happiness and being grateful. I’m getting these ideas in my head telling me that everything is not as bad as I think and that I should relax.
At this point I’m walking up and down the flat amazed at how clear and bright everything looks. I’m remembering a dream I had about being in this same place but it felt like I was living someone else’s life. I’m confused but also intrigued at how this is all possible. I start to panic but remind myself that it’s all part of an experience.
After about an hour of all of this happening I get anxious and decide to call it a night as my mind is running at a pace I can’t handle. I get in the blankets and I just tell myself to shut down and breathe in and out. As soon as I do this everything slows down and it’s like I can feel every part of my body and I have control. Only problem is, whenever I stop and go back to the events of the day I start hearing the music I was hearing during the day and all the conversations I had and they become too much. I went back and fourth with focusing on my breathing and letting go for a while until I zoned out.
As I’m sleeping it was like I was shown my daily routines and my life from an outsiders perspective. Felt like I was observing an alien or an insect going through its daily mundane tasks and not stopping to look around. I had this voice telling me to let go of the past and that some things I won’t understand all at once and that is okay. At this point I forgot that I’m even looking at my life and the way reality works because I had detached myself from my human form.
As I’m in this state and kinda feeling like I’m watching a movie, I feel myself slowly coming to consciousness again. I start touch my face and moving my legs and it feels weird. Felt like when I was asleep I was more free and now coming back to wake up felt like I’m being restricted to having a body. I’m looking at the ceiling and I can’t recall where I am and still confused as to how I look. It was like waking up in a new body.
I woke up and went to the mirror and I saw that I was back.
I smiled and felt like I had gained something.