And at the end of the day,
When you have decided to cut ties with all that seems to continuously demoralise you and hurt you,
the only demon left to conquer will be yourself.
I’ve come to notice that when it has been a terribly difficult time for me to encounter fellow beings, my greatest vice has been my inability to exercise moderation. The All or Nothing route is not a way of life that suits my design, but in my moments of refuge-seeking, I have turned to it, time and time again.
Following blindly and wholeheartedly, without a question or doubt in sight or completely detaching has been the source of equal anguish to both the people that I have held most dear and to myself.
Boundaries, I have learnt, are hard for me to set. Therefore to encounter someone who would, subconsciously at times, take advantage of that shortcoming has been a frequent occurrence in my life – thus causing twice the amount of discomfort as that which could have been avoided had I set boundaries in an assertive manner beforehand.
Boundaries are healthy borders of responsibility that are established between people who respect and cherish one another, just as they are limits that one sets for oneself in order to maintain a sense of balance in one’s own life.
The habit of being assertive, when put into practice enough, gives leeway to a gift we all desperately owe to ourselves to no end:
The gift of accountability for our own time and accountability for our own happiness.
So here’s to sharing, with you, the advice that I need the most.
Your Pen Pal,
Akani Fuko is here to offer an appreciation of the commotion we’re brought up in and the lessons it inevitably comes with. I reckon the hot mess that seems to persist in our lives may offer each one of us a unique take on life that only seeks to enrich our authentic selves. The gift of perceiving life through humour and constant reflection remains one my life’s truest forms of compensation, to say the least.