“That is not what we agreed upon”
A voice said before I woke up.
Sweating and breathing fast with my mind going back further than I thought it was capable of going.
So I used that to track back how I got to the voice which cut short my sleep
I remembered seeing a familiar face with a resemblance so uncanny that I even forgot whose face I could pin that to.
So I got up and went to splash my face with water so I can wake and relive the dream.
As I rose my head after the splash, looked at the mirror and stared at the biggest shock of my life.
I saw the face which I thought I saw in my sleep.
Took few steps back and looked again, that was me on the mirror.
The person I saw was younger.
Now the mind was able to put the faces together.
In the dream, I saw a shooting star and I remember wishing I could speak to my younger self.
As I turned my head sideways, I saw him sitting in a dark corner, present day, and hadn’t aged a bit.
Sitting there looking sad, with me knowing how energetic and ambitious he was, I approached the
corner to try to talk him out of it.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“You’re wrong”, he answered.
Because this is one person speaking to the same person, I understood what he meant so I started explaining.
“You know sometimes in life, things don’t always go according to plan. Life pushes you in a certain direction and you end up doing what you have to do to survive”.
Carried on trying to convince him why our “naïve” plans are impossible to be achieved.
He just stood there with arms folded like the confident to almost arrogant prick that I knew from back in the day.
And as I slowly came to an end of my excuses, He asked: “Are you happy with surviving?”
Before I could even answer, he said: “no you’re not”
He said the people I’m trying to please won’t seem to be satisfied because my face is not that of happiness.
“Look at your family. Have you done what we planned for them? Do you think they’ll be happy when they find out you’re pretending?”
He then said he’s not angry with me trying to survive but he’s really disappointed that I’m not working towards anything except to survive.
He reminded me that we only planned to find out what makes us happy and if we don’t find it straight after school, we’d find satisfaction when we work towards getting there and we’d eventually get it.
He said what I’m doing now is not what we agreed upon.
So I’m awake now, working to find my purpose and I hope anyone who reads this will do the same.
FIND YOUR PURPOSE
I exist, you exist. Why are you making yourself or anyone feel nonexistent?