Request for a Returns Policy

On behalf of the went to school


You sold me a product, it is not work ing. I want to return it.

I have to commend you, you were a great salesman, I bought to your idea.

You told me I was gonna be well of once I acquire your product, but now that I have it, it’s more of a problem than a solution.

Just like any product one buys, it is meant to solve a problem, if it doesn’t, it is useless and must be taken to where it came from.


Oh, I haven’t told you what this product is.

Education, a diploma or degree is what you sold to me.

You said with an education I was gonna be successful and be able to build a bigger house for my parents and siblings.

You said I was gonna get a good and a paying job.

Who wouldn’t want to buy such a product?

Especially coming from the neighborhood I and my people come from?

The thought of liberating the family from poverty is worth the 6+ years I spent at your institution and even more.


What you forgot to show me, was your returns policy.

I even searched for it online, I couldn’t find it.

I am here holding a qualification paper and nothing else to show for it.

And you have guts to keep sending me my debt balance for a non-functioning product.


Since you don’t have a policy, I’ll talk based on the ones I’ve heard of.

Your product gives me problems instead of solutions.

People are constantly talking behind my back about having gone to school for nothing.

If I buy a shoe and I get home to see that it doesn’t fit, I usually go back to the store to return it.

The same thing goes for defective appliances, why is this one not following that procedure.


You can’t tell me that I cannot return what I have learned, that’s b****, you sold me a qualification, what I learned doesn’t matter because I was going to be taught how to do the job when I get to work anyway.

So if you take your qualification, I am debt free and I can’t use your school to get work. it’s a win-win.

But you don’t want me to win, don’t you?

You enjoy having control over me.

You want me to feel indebted to you even when your side of the deal does not live up to expectation.


Even though the sale was on credit, the product is supposed to have a guarantee, otherwise, according to me, the whole transaction is invalid.


Yours Sincerely

The Qualified Unemployed

2 responses to “Request for a Returns Policy”

  1. …excellent central idea, that perspective, love it – nice rhythms too. Perhaps too much detail, reality tends to frighten the horses 😉 let them fill in from their own experience, leave the reader something to do for themselves, maybe.


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